A queer hijabi Muslim immigrant survives her coming-of-age by drawing strength and hope from stories in the Quran in this “raw and relatable memoir that challenges societal norms and expectations” (Linah Mohammad, NPR).
“A masterful, must-read contribution to conversations on power, justice, healing, and devotion from a singular voice I now trust with my whole heart.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed
THEM’S HONOREE IN LITERATURE • AN AUDACIOUS BOOK CLUB PICK • WINNER: The Brooklyn Public Library Book Prize, the Stonewall Book Award, the Israel Fishman Nonfiction Award • Lambda Literary Award Finalist
A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: NPR, Autostraddle, Book Riot, BookPage, Harper’s Bazaar, Electric Lit, She Reads
When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight. To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: When Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?
From that moment on, Lamya makes sense of her struggles and triumphs by comparing her experiences with some of the most famous stories in the Quran. She juxtaposes her coming out with Musa liberating his people from the pharoah; asks if Allah, who is neither male nor female, might instead be nonbinary; and, drawing on the faith and hope Nuh needed to construct his ark, begins to build a life of her own—ultimately finding that the answer to her lifelong quest for community and belonging lies in owning her identity as a queer, devout Muslim immigrant.
This searingly intimate memoir in essays, spanning Lamya’s childhood to her arrival in the United States for college through early-adult life in New York City, tells a universal story of courage, trust, and love, celebrating what it means to be a seeker and an architect of one’s own life.
This was my favourite read of the year.
I have a very complicated and complex relationship with religion. I always got "having faith", but not putting it into a box and needing a moral codex from someone to be a good person. Especially if that moral codex excluded certain people and acted kind of "elitist".
HOWEVER I never felt as seen and understood by a book. There were so many points that felt like a call-out, but in a compassionate, "I have been there too" kind of way.
Dec 26, 2025
5.0
This was my favourite read of the year.
I have a very complicated and complex relationship with religion. I always got "having faith", but not putting it into a box and needing a moral codex from someone to be a good person. Especially if that moral codex excluded certain people and acted kind of "elitist".
HOWEVER I never felt as seen and understood by a book. There were so many points that felt like a call-out, but in a compassionate, "I have been there too" kind of way.
I’m not queer and I’m Not Muslim but I really had to read this Book
Eine Ich-Erzählerin die sich tief mit ihrem Glauben und dessen Vereinbarkeit mit ihrer Sexualität und ihrem Geschlecht auseinandersetzt. Man bekommt einen intensiven Einblick in die muslimische Glaubensrichtung und der Suche nach sich selbst, inmitten von Queerfeindlichkeit und Rassismus, aber bestärkt durch die eigene Religion.
Mar 18, 2026
4.5
I’m not queer and I’m Not Muslim but I really had to read this Book
Eine Ich-Erzählerin die sich tief mit ihrem Glauben und dessen Vereinbarkeit mit ihrer Sexualität und ihrem Geschlecht auseinandersetzt. Man bekommt einen intensiven Einblick in die muslimische Glaubensrichtung und der Suche nach sich selbst, inmitten von Queerfeindlichkeit und Rassismus, aber bestärkt durch die eigene Religion.
This book is definitely not something I would usually pick out to read. I did read it because it was chosen in the bookclub I am in as our next read, and it did not disappoint. I usually don't read memoirs, so this was an interesting new experience. The book talks about a lot of interesting and important topics and gives a perspective of the life of a queer hijabi Muslim immigrant.
I would definitely say that this book changed my opinion on some topics and helped me to understand life as a part of the Muslim culture better.
Nov 2, 2024
4.0
Finished: 02.11.2024
This book is definitely not something I would usually pick out to read. I did read it because it was chosen in the bookclub I am in as our next read, and it did not disappoint. I usually don't read memoirs, so this was an interesting new experience. The book talks about a lot of interesting and important topics and gives a perspective of the life of a queer hijabi Muslim immigrant.
I would definitely say that this book changed my opinion on some topics and helped me to understand life as a part of the Muslim culture better.
