In ganz kurz: Absolutes masterpiece imo, tiefgehende Charactere plus Story und so wunderschön geschrieben. Die Playlist, die ich nebenbei gehört hab, hat auch perfekt zu meiner Lesegeschwindigkeit gepasst, war echt ein unbeschreibliche Leseerlebnis! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3xbrRCViyu2UKDZErhDQfg?si=-QRDAiuxT52hZnRW_4WXOg

Einfach nur wow Ich lese normalerweise kein horror aber diese Geschichte hat mich von der ersten Seite an gepackt. Ein Wald voller Monster die nicht nur Andrew verschlingen wollen sonder auch seine Geschichten und den jungen mit dem er eine teils ungesunde Obsession hat. Auf jeder Seite war es Spannung pur zwischen Blutiger Monstejagd, den gefühlschaos der Protagonisten und den morbiden Gedankengängen unseres MC konnte man das Buch gar nicht aus der Hand legen. Ich wollte nur wissen wie es weiter geht. Was mir zudem besonders gut gefallen hat ist die Liebe zum Detail. Die eingeschoben Geschichten und Bilder gaben dem Buch so viel mehr Tiefe. Auf jeden Fall eine Empfehlung für alle die einen Einblick in das Gerne horror wollen aber in der Nacht auch noch schlafen möchten. Den ich bin selbst nicht so eine Horror Maus und fand das Buch hat genau den richtigen Grad an nicht zu viel Grusel und genung damit es spannend bleibt getroffen. Das Buch erscheint Im Herbst auch auf deutsch soweit ich weiß. Ich freu mich schon auf das nächste Buch der Autorin.

This was a really interesting, beautifully written book about a codependent friendship turned romantic and the monsters inside and outside of themselves. The only thing I didn't like was the ending. It's too open for me, and it's very much open for interpretation of what exactly happened. Though I hate open endings, it still didn't take away from everything before, and I loved the twist, their relationship, and the asexual representation that reflected some of my own thoughts. A book I will keep in mind and possibly reread some day since you'll read it differently the second time around. Andrew, his twin-sister Dove, and Thomas are best friends, inseparable. But when Andrew returns for his senior year at Wickwood Academy, everything is different. Dove is distant and apparently still fighting with Thomas, after what happened at the end of last year, and Thomas is a person of interest after his parents mysteriously vanished. He also distances himself from Andrew, who just feels terribly alone. He decides to follow Thomas into the forest where he finds him - fighting monsters. The beginning is a bit slow, but I didn't mind. It may be horror because of the monsters, but it's also a mystery. "The thing that happened last year" gets brought up multiple times, but we don't get the answer to what happened until way later. Everything is told from Andrew's POV, but in 3rd person (which fits really well), and he has a lot he doesn't want to think about. Like his feelings for Thomas. He is in love with him but doesn't want to say anything because he thinks Thomas doesn't feel the same even though it's obvious he does. They have this codependent relationship dynamic that might not be the most healthy, but I really like in fiction. They would do anything for each other. They just fit perfectly, also with their art. Andrew writes stories, and Thomas draws the monsters in them (btw there are a few drawings in the book as well, which was really cool). "He drew like this because Andrew wrote like this. They fed off each other relentlessly, their fever dreams bleeding through their eyes long after they woke." "You'll cut me open and find a garden of rot where my heart should be" (...) "When I cut you open," Andrew finally said, "all I'll find is that we match." I just love couples like that 🤭 Of course, it takes quite some time until they can both talk about their feelings, especially Andrew, who also struggles with his asexuality. Many of his thoughts reminded me of my own (I'm on the aroace spectrum as well). "He couldn't fit into a love story the way he was meant to, the way the stories were always told. No one would see a point in kissing him and leaving it at that, but he didn't think he wanted anything more." We also have a few queer side characters, and even though they don't have a big role in the story, I really liked Lana. The way she helped Andrew and stood up for him and herself was just great. Besides the end, which was, as I said, too open for me, I liked most things. Especially, the way it was written was really beautiful and effortlessly eloquent. It was still easy to read, and I had to marvel about the choice of words ✨️ The only thing I wanted more of was talking. I guess the mystery would have been solved too quickly, but often, I was like, "Just talk to each other!". Even Thomas himself complains about that at one point 😅 There also could have been more flashbacks because we don't really see that supposedly great friendship of the three of them. It's more talked about, but the thing itself is off-page, and we start with the year everything is different, so it would have been nice to see more from before. It might not have been a highlight for me, but it was still a book that really moved me and is still on my mind. I'd recommend it if you like books that leave space for interpretation. It also kinda reminded me of another book, "The Wicker King." I'd say if you liked that one, you'll probably like this one too. I rated them the same. Now, my own theories and thoughts about the ending: ⬇️⬇️⬇️spoilers⬇️⬇️⬇️ Well, first of all, Thomas was obviously real. He is written distinctly different than Dove, who didn't interact with anyone directly besides Andrew. Thomas had interactions with many students and teachers. The monsters, on the other hand, can be interpreted both ways. I think they were real manifestations of Andrew's grief (like his way to cope) and kind of a way to punish him and Thomas. Thomas for not being able to save Dove and him for being the one that survived (survivors guilt). He always felt inferior to Dove and thought Thomas loved her. He also thought that Dove had something against him, but when he found out the truth about her fight with Thomas, he was able to change the story. Originally, it was going to end with his sacrifice, aka suicide, but then he didn't want to die anymore. I want to believe they both survived in the end. Andrew buried his notebook and described it as "That notebook was his everything, his most precious possession, his heart made paper." So, maybe he buried it as replacement for a heart. Otherwise, he could have cut out Thomas' as it said he started cutting, and then they somehow shared his (magic idk). Thomas does answer him in the end, so I want to believe they are both alive because I don't think Andrew would kill him. Of course, other interpretations are possible. The monsters could have been hallucinations as well. If that is true though, Thomas has to be seeing them too and murdered his parents. Because if they aren't real, Andrew (and Thomas?) was doing all the killing (well, he was eighter way, just not directly), but he wasn't present when Thomas' parents were attacked. So if Thomas didn't kill them (which I don't think he did since he was moreso avoiding the topic than planning to do something himself), it means the monsters must have been real. It also makes sense since the story tells us multiple times that Andrew would kill for him and the attack happens after Thomas' phone gets damaged, and he tells Andrew his father hit him again. The only thing that was kinda weird, though, was the way the school tried to cover everything up and didn't find the murders that strange. Especially the teachers with the vines and cut of face, which made me suspect that might have been partially made up by Andrew's mind, but idk. I think most things make more sense if you say the monsters are real. Another weird thing I don't have an explanation for is Andrew's phone. Why was it still charged, and who took those photos (and why?). Only Dove (dead) and Thomas (on the photo with him) have his password, so it must have been the monsters. Why would they take photos? 😅 Maybe since he was subconsciously controlling them, he did it to have evidence because there was a monster in the picture. Kinda like showing himself it's not just in his head? And the forest inside of Andrew, while I think it was literal, can also be a metaphor for his knowledge about what happened to Dove. His subconscious trying to tell him what he buried deep inside. At the murder of the teacher, a seed was planted inside him with that knowledge. It grew, and just when he was talking to the fake Dove, it got more and more to the surface and finally broke free when Thomas told him the truth. Literal or not, that was a great metaphor. In the end, there are still so many questions besides the monsters' realness or their survival: Who will be blamed for Bryce's death? Will they be able to be together after Andrew is expelled? Where will Thomas even live? I just don't like open endings 😅 I think that is everything I have to say. I feel like this was just a lot of disorganized rambling, but whatever. I need to share my thoughts somewhere xD