A nice, quick and easy read, just how I like it lol. I chose this story based on myself being into the oshi/idol topic so I was really looking forward to the storyline and I was not disappointed. To a certain extent, I really understood the thought process and behavioral patterns of the MC, which made me, in some kind of way, feel both seen yet worried. Especially the afterword, which addressed certain aspects of the book, made this book really interesting and intriguing!

bookclub read. This book is interesting to say the least. As someone that has been a part of online and offline fandom cultures for more than half of her life, this wasn’t any shocking new discovery. But as I would label myself on the definitive more emotionally detached and „normal“ end of the fandom culture, it is as always concerning to what lengths other people go to for their idols. If I wasn’t part of fandom spaces I’d think Masami is a work of fiction and no person would ever be like this. Well I know these people exist and they have always concerned me. So 90% if the book I was just thinking: what the fuck how does anyone even feel this way. I don’t know if this was an intention of the author, but this book does accurately represent just how insane some people become when they hyperfixate on celebrities or fictional ideas of humans. I do think it is a genuinely concerning topic and development, and a lot of people just accept this ruin to their own personality and social life. In my opinion no one should ever be that dependent on anything other than themselves, especially not a manufactured ideal of a human you don’t personally know. Now more back to the book: it was well written overall, as mentioned, the story wasn’t groundbreaking to me personally but eg I know a lot of less online friends of mine they would be astonished. My main issue was: I just couldn’t get through it without judging the main character, but hey that’s a me thing. BUT, a general issue I had: I truly was missing just… more. More information on the protagonist, more emotions, more everything. I truly feel this could have been more explored, since we have this intriguing character but sadly it all stays very two dimensional and pretty stereotypical. Overall: A quick read that mirrors the experiences I’ve seen in fandoms super accurately, and precisely sheds light on the biggest issues I see with fan culture and a loss of identity and self we see among young people today. The urge to not put in the work to understand who you are and what you like but to identify yourself as something that’s based on another existence.

Großartiges Buch, als jemand der selbst seit 10 Jahren K-Pop Fan ist und viele Verhaltensweisen der Fankultur die exakt selben sind wie im J-Pop ist es wirklich ein Flashback zu meinem 14-Jährigen Ich. Akaris Handlungen und Gefühle sind unglaublich eingängig geschildert und sicherlich auch für Menschen gut nachvollziehbar, die mit Fankultur nichts am Hut haben

I'm giving this 2,5 stars. I really liked the way the author described the inner life of akari. In the end, though, I whished there was more... I liked that it ended on this kind of positiv outlook. But without the acknowledgement at the end I would have been more disappointed. Nonetheless, it's a good topic and shows that candle culture can really hurt more people than expected.

Short review: I expected more. Long review: The book did stay surface-level and that's what I wished it hadn't done. there were so many interesting topics - the obsession and fandom culture, the mental illness of the main character and how the combination of the two influences her ability to live her life, her relationship with her family. unfortunately none of those things are explored more in depth in this book. we don't even get to know if and why the idol punches the fan. the writing style also wasn't for me, it switched scenes in weird moments which took me out of the story and confused me. the plot wasn't satisfying even though it had a lot of potential. The Afterword was the best part of the book for me and only because of that I'm giving it 2 stars.