At first, I thought the book was really good in the first chapter, and the repetition of some phrases felt fitting. However, the whole book ended up just repeating itself in different words, but always with the same phrases like “God’s truth” and “I knew, I understood.” I just can’t see it anymore. Additionally, the ending felt quite random and, in my opinion, didn’t fit. Even though the book is actually very short, it was hard to get through. Therefore, I don’t understand why it has won so many awards. 1,5⭐️

I could see him, Alfa, sitting in front of me slowly descending into madness. Him muttering 'I know, I understand' over and over again. Him revisiting the death of his friend, more-than-brother, and the things he did to 'avenge' him. And finally him embodying his death friend‘s, more-than-brother, spirit to 'grand' him what he himself was fortunate to have and abandoning all sense of reality and consequence. Powerful book. And definitely not an easy read.

God's truth, I know, I understand. I still have chills. This is a very hypnotic novella, capturing in language the downward spiral of a young man that lost his more-than-brother to war and needs to cope with grief, with the violence and bloodshed around him, with the cruelty of war. The rhythmic beats of the prose und the cruelty or inevitability or both that the continued repetition hammers in, this is incredible writing. The audiobook version read by Dion Graham was also breathtaking. Knowing how German schools and universities teach WWI and (don't) teach German colonialism this is eye-opening, earth shattering and indescribably important, once again putting that part of the curriculum to great shame. CNs: war, fighting in the trenches, witnessing people dying, bodily mutilation/torture, mentions of kidnapping, grief, absence of a parent, a journey that is clearly coded as mental illness, but there's no name to anything and no focus on the medical side of it, one hell of a dubious consent sex scene that I don't know what to make of, just know that it made me feel...tense

Did expect a lot more. No trigger warnings exist, so I'm attempting to create a page at [https://booktriggerwarnings.com/index.php?title=Welcome]. In the meantime: - murder (graphic) - racism - violence (graphic) - rape (possibly not; didn't understand the scene) - blood; war; death; loss; grief; kidnapping; adoption; rage; mental health issues (war times; death etc.) I do not claim that this is a full list.

This was disturbing... in a good way though(?) (CW for the book: Graphic depiction of violence, trauma, brutality, sadism/masochism and rape.) I was hooked after the first chapter. The first chapter broke me like instantly, and I was very sad and felt absolutely sick. There is a very graphic depiction of violence, so I felt sick a lot. This book should come with triggerwarnings, but to be fair, it's about a soldier who loses his mind after a very traumatic event. So you can kinda guess that it's gonna be about hard topics. The way Alfa just completely spiraled into madness was very interesting to see. Like after the second chapter I thought,'How can this get worse?' But oh boy, did it get worse. I can definitely recommend it, but check the content warnings before.

This book is a masterpiece! It is horrifying yet deeply touching, the language is tender yet describing the most horrid details. You find yourself dragged down in a spiral, and there is no coming back from the darkness that surrounds you. It is one of the best descriptions of trauma I have ever come across ("best" meaning "relatable" insofar as someone who has not experienced this kind of trauma is able to grasp it at all). The audiobook adds a special dimension, the performance by Dion Graham is absolutely haunting and would deserve some kind of award of its own.