„That was when I decided to kill myself I didn’t like myself When I was a kid I thought I would grow up to be someone different I thought I‘d be a better person with a better life in a better world“ „I don’t wanna be someone who hurts people I don’t think I was meant to be that I think I was meant to be a rat“
This is not a book with a lot action but rather an exploration of the relation between two sisters, of mental health, of being queer and poor in a small town and everything that comes with that (right-populist people, nothing to do, feeling different, hating the town but also knowing ot too wel). It is about growing up and parents fighting and the different ways two sisters cope with that. It is about two sisters not really being friends or getting along but still being sisters. Honestly, there are many discussions about the depictions of siblings in books but this one felt real - the whole thing with sharing memories and a childhood but still not really knowing each other but also knowing each other better than everyone else, of fighting all the time but being ready to fight for each other if necessary, of hating and caring and loving. It is an extremely complicated relationship but it still felt real. Both of them react differently to the way they grew up, to their parents fighting and being abusive, and keep in mind that this book deals with this, depression, addiction and suicide (among other topics) and can be quite heavy inbetween and melancholic most of the time. Overall, I loved that this book centers on this relation instead on a romantic one - I want more books about siblings. I also liked the unrealiability of the narrative, the way this story treats childhood and imagination, and how it discusses isolation and the need to be able to connect with other people, making me feel grateful for every person I have in my life.
Ein kurzes, aber sehr ansprechendes Buch. Der Fokus liegt ganz klar auf den Figuren und zeigt auch nur einen kleinen Einblick in ihre Leben, aber die Erzählweise ist sehr besonders und es fühlt sich alles sehr real an. Ich hab auf jeden Fall Lust bekommen auch die anderen Bücher der Autorin zu lesen.
