08.06. My head hurts. I'm mindf*ed. What the fuck. Guess I gotta go cry into my pillow now. 15.06. This book was a total rollercoaster with up's and down's. You could never guess how it will continue, you had your thoughts but it was always "what will happen next??" I have to say that I am not so surprised about the ending even when I wished for another one. At least it's not so worse like I thought it would be. And by worse I mean what almost happened. Kinda expected for homophobia tbh. I mean I didn't miss it, I was just surprised in a good way. The book is definitely not for sentimental people and you should view the trigger warnings beforehand! All in all I loved the characters and it was sad to finish the book and have to say goodbye to them.

I think I feel a little sick. I finished "These Violent Delights" a few seconds ago and my dinner is in front of me and I can't touch it. What did I read there? A masterpiece - I am destroyed; like a teacup that has been dropped. I can't even describe how wonderful the writing style is. How intense and deep and ... not in the least sense somehow vulgar or even graphic .... but ... so emotional and visually powerful that it eats its way into your brain. It takes root in you and never lets you go. Just like Paul and Julian. This book is rarely light and bright; it's dark and heavy and so sweet you can't take it anymore. It's a nightmare disguised as the Tooth Fairy. (Sometimes.) No book has touched me like this since "A Little Life", and when last before that I don't know. I will probably think about Paul and Julian and their "love" for a long time. Their relationship, their obsession. About Paul; so much about Paul. My whole body aches.