When I started this book, I wasn't really sure what it was about, just that it was about being trans* (which is mostly implicit) and going to a Quaker school (I have to admit I was attacked by the statement that most poeple who are not familiar with Quakers mix them up with Amish people so I guess I learned a lot). I struggled on the first few pages with getting in to the story, mostly because of the unique writing style, and wasn't sure whether I would get along with this book, until I got obsessed with it and wasn't able to lay it down. Admittedly, you have to get used to the writing style that so perfectly captures everything this book is about. Early internet culture with lots of movie references, early internet slang, the cynism of milleanial youth in general and (queer) outcasts specifically. The story retells the friendship between Nell and Fay, from their adult selves in retrospectives alternating with chapters writting in the "we"-perspective of the "F+N Unit". And while it took me a while to get used to it, I came to love how this captured the intertwinedness of both who at some point fail to distinguish their thoughts. And the complexity of their relation was just marvelous. I am always advocating for more complex and nuanced friendships, more destructive and toxic friendships, more friendships with large emotional impact and life-changing affects, and this was just perfect. Because while Fay and Nell appear to be thinking and acting in unisono, being inseperable to the point of never really being apart, this was also what makes their relation slightly toxic. Especially since there are many moments in which they do not share their real thoughts - Fay recalls later that Fay remembers best all the things they haven't said to each other. The friendship starts with Nell having a crush on Fay that is not reciprocrated and even though her obsession with Fay seems to be extremely unhealthy, I liked how the alternating POVs and developments lead to a constant switch between whose obsession in this friendship seems more unhealthy. I also liked how you are aware that their relationship IS unhealthy but also beautiful and close in other instants, capturing the ambiguity and complexity of human relations. It is also story about going to a Quaker high school, about queerness, about fetishizing fan fictions, about theater, about hidden racism, about witnessing 9/11, and about navgiating social relations as a teenager. It feels sarcastic, absurd, and funny in some instants and extremely dark, cruel, and toxic in others. Things keep spiraling down and maybe that is exactly what captured me the most. The underlying topics of gender dysphoria and mental health are barely actively addressed but nevertheless incorporated so well into the story that they remain the main topics which is just another example of how well-written this book was.