Columbine

This book really gives a total inside about everything that happened before, during and after this horrible event. I often needed to put it down to deal with all the information. It personally affected me what happened, it made me emotinal. I'm glad I got to read this and to understand every single thing that had to do with it.

„Columbine“ is reporter Dave Cullen’s attempt to give his audience a detailed picture of what happened in the years before, in the time during and especially the months and years after Eric and Dylan fired shots in their high school, leaving 13 dead and many more injured. He interviewed witnesses as well as survivors (such as Patrick Ireland) and tried to point out how differently Eric and Dylan have been and what pushed them over the edge. I personally think that Cullen did quite a decent job, however, some of his statements didn’t add up. For example, he says that neither Eric nor Dylan have been bullied during their time at Columbine, however, I remember reading a passage straight from Eric’s journal telling that everyone made fun of him. Cullen’s thesis of “no bullying” doesn’t add up for me. And ignoring such an important fact makes me think about whether other statements and ‘facts’ in this book are entirely true. Furthermore, I had my problems with Cullen’s way of telling the story. Especially in the first few chapters, it felt as if he was telling a fictional piece of work with “Mr. D.” (Columbine’s principle during the shooting) being a character he made up. I actually had to remind myself several times that I am reading a non-fictional book. Personally, I think the write style is not appropriate for a non-fictional book, however, I eventually got used to it. This book leaves me twisted. On one hand I really ‘enjoyed’ reading it (not in the ‘haha, so funny”-way but in the “wow, well that is an interesting/disturbing/unknown fact”-way), on the other hand I can’t really tell how much is true and how much is labled as true to fit Cullen’s thesis (no bullying, etc.) Originally, I rated the book 4 stars, however, coming to think about it, I’ll change the rating to 3 stars, as there are way better books on that topic out there.

Massive amount of research done, captivating and gives a real sense of how horrendous the experience was for the victims. Additionally greatly insightful into the psychology of Eric and Dylans mentality.

Definitely not an easy read but a great piece of work by the author. Having watched the events at Columbine on the TV as a teenager and now working in an area where the subject of school shootings has come up repeatedly, the book provides valuable insights into the before, during, and after. I highly recommend it to everyone interested in this subject area.

A real hurricane of a book The first time I read about Columbine was in 2014 when we were reading "19 Minutes" by Jodi Picoult in English class - the book is about a school shooting similar to Columbine. The resemblance is so close (the time frame only a few minutes longer than the shooting inside Columbine Highschool) that it always annoyed me. I will never really understand why today's popculture is so obsessed with those two and seems to reproduce it in TV-Shows (suchs as American Horror Story) or books like Picoults and I will never understand either why I, myself went home after that class to google it and down I went the rabbit hole. I think, I must've spent about a month reading both of their diaries and I felt myself getting more and more anxious with every page. I was 18 and had just made my own experience with trauma: I spent my days feeling numb, always on the edge or barely feeling anything at all. This was the first time I was feeling pain again and I remember feeling really relieved to cry. For me this is also a hint as to why this crime is so fascinating to some of us because it brings up the thought of: "This could be me. This could happen to me." I found strength in the survivors storie's and when my mom gifted me this book, I knew I would be feeling all the same things all over again. My review won't add to anything or bring up anything new, I just felt important to add my few thoughts. "A definite account" What struck me first was the chronology of this book: It is more a cross section of the story, hopping from one event to another, from the survivor's story to the police investigation. My preference would've been a clear chronological from the beginning to the end, but I figured with a crime like this, you do not really have a beginning or an end. It is really painful and consuming to read so I handled it like a plaster and tear it off fast. Cullen has a clear style of writing and the book was called "definite account" on various occasions but I wondered how true that was as he clearly stated some sympathies for Dylan. I also wondered why he chose to talk about some survivors only and leave other's out of the story: He wrote about the library a couple times from a few point of views and kept bringing it up but left out some of the stories. I hoped for answers in the epilogue but there were none. His account of how the media dealt with the shooting is unmasking and was one of the best parts of the books in my opinion. I watched some of the footage after finishing the book and also compared it to the german news and was shocked that unprofessional coverage like this was even allowed. He examines the role the media took in making "Columbine" a synonym for disaster and catastrophe. One harsh YouTube-Comment I read put it perfectly well: "To this day this was the most pathetic, unstudfied and false news reporting of all time. Every repoter, and news staff involved in this are going straight to hell where they will get their facts directly from Dylan and Eric themselves." (Of course this is comment is overemotional and to read with a lot of irony ;-)) Same goes for the police works and some of the mistakes that just came through in 2012 (?) about several reports that were filed against Harris. What made Columbine special was in the end the media coverage announcing a new age of journalism where everything can be filmed or can be published through the internet. Talking psychology Cullen also investigates the "Why" and delivers answers but still the feeling lingers that one will need a letter from both of the shooters with their own reasons. He writes about their dynamic and how Harris showed psycopathic tendencies and therefore could've influenced Klebold "who just wanted to die". We do not know about the information their parents gave or some of the documents but I felt like it explained Harris' behaviour for me but not really Klebold's. Especially since he never mentioned anywhere that he felt pressured by Harris. It is frustrating that their dynamic and their thought will always remain a mystery somehow - though they left so much behind. With pyschological subjects he always seemed to just touch the surface. Same goes for the survivor's stories in the book: He talks about PTSD a few times but never fully gives us a definition. I think this has to do with how the book is structured but a few definition and details descriptions here and there would've been helpful. Maybe he left it out since he is not a professional. In the new epilogue he adds how big the subject "mental health" is and how important it is to battle teenage depression. Aftermath: Hope at the end of the tunnel After an attack like this all survivor's and people to this day try to make sense of what happened in April '99. I admired the strength with which almost all of them took their lives back. Religion became important how Cullen depicts it in the "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" chapter. It offered more answers and hope than the police, reporters and investigaters ever could offer. In the epilogue Cullen himself mentioned something that was my personal take on what to make out of this terrible crime. When I caught myself thinking: "But didn't they win? Eric was right all along with his wish to create "TV-made murder"." Cullen answered this thought with something strong that I want to put at the end of my review: "Columbine was colossal failure. Thirten dead instead of hundreds. [...] Pathetic pipe bombs that made a bang and injured no one. [...] So unrecognizable as terrorism that we ranked them first among the school shooters they ridiculed. And what an exit. That mus have pissed Eric off. He envisioned a blaze of glory, gleefully describing a cop shooting him in the head. Nope. [...] Suicide by cop from the library window? Failure. Dylan wouldn't even walk through his own carnage; Eric's face was throbbing from a broken nose. Out of options, they surrendered with their own weapons in their own filth. Killers keep trying to relive the glory and elation at Columbine. There was none. Double-false script."

Dnf… it was okay but also ENDLESS