My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Paperback
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Description

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.

Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
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Pages
213
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Chelsea Handler's funny remarks and outright honesty are what I knew her for before reading her autobiographical book. I still like her as a person, as a comedian and celebrity, but this book did not make me laugh (as seems to have been the sole intention), it did not convince me that it's a good thing to jump from one bed to another bed, and it was most definitely not funny how Chelsea kept discriminating certain kinds of men because of specific faults she discovered in them (too short penises; a lack of willingness to jump into bed with her immediately after meeting each other; being a virgin). That's part of her honesty, of course, that's part of what made her so famous: that she doesn't keep her opinions on her preferences for herself. She also implied in her writing that it seems to be okay to have a father who shows signs of abusive behaviour and insults people because of their race ("[He] went to a cocktail party in the late eighties with my mother and upon seeing the only black couple there, approached the woman and asked her if she would be interested in cleaning our house.") by not commenting on this behaviour even once.

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