Acts of Desperation: Megan Nolan

Acts of Desperation: Megan Nolan

Taschenbuch
3.59

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Beschreibung

**THE TIMES BESTSELLER**

*A NEW STATESMAN, OBSERVER, IRISH TIMES, i AND STYLIST BOOK OF 2021*

'Please believe the hype ... a seriously exciting writer' Sunday Times

'The millennial author everyone should be watching right now' Daily Telegraph

'Such brilliant writing about female desire, co-dependant love...Incredibly honest and visceral' Marian Keyes

Discover this bitingly honest, darkly funny debut novel about a toxic relationship and secret female desire, from an emerging star of Irish literature.

Love was the final consolation, would set ablaze the fields of my life in one go, leaving nothing behind. I thought of it as a force which would clean me and by its presence make me worthy of it. There was no religion in my life after early childhood, and a great faith in love was what I had cultivated instead. Oh, don't laugh at me for this, for being a woman who says this to you. I hear myself speak.

Even now, even after all that took place between us, I can still feel how moved I am by him. Ciaran was that downy, darkening blond of a baby just leaving its infancy. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. None of it mattered in the end; what he looked like, who he was, the things he would do to me. To make a beautiful man love and live with me had seemed - obviously, intuitively - the entire point of life. My need was greater than reality, stronger than the truth, more savage than either of us would eventually bear. How could it be true that a woman like me could need a man's love to feel like a person, to feel that I was worthy of life? And what would happen when I finally wore him down and took it?

'A dark, intense account of an obsessive love affair. It's great on the elation of falling in love and then its flip side, the anxiety, fixation and self-doubt. A really fine debut' David Nicholls
Haupt-Genre
N/A
Sub-Genre
N/A
Format
Taschenbuch
Seitenzahl
288
Preis
13.99 €

Beiträge

4
Alle
3.5

Als wäre Sally Rooney sehr horny

3

"Crushing, intensely, vital" as the Observer describes this. And I can confirm, I wanted to intensely crush my head against the wall until I was no longer vital anymore when reading this. The first half was good. It's giving very Sally Rooney, probably Ottessa Mosfhegh (haven't yet read her works but one is on my shelf). It's your very scurile very depressed young woman who uses her suffering, mental health issues and messed up sex life to shock you and turn you into a voyeur of her perverse life story. TWs in this book: toxic relationship (!!!), self harm, abuse, rape, alcoholism, drugs +++ Spoilers ahead +++ I was looking forward to this book a lot. Sally Rooney and her characters really gave me a fix. I do believe you either hate or love this genre/these books and probably need to have experiences in this kind of nieche to properly enjoy them, too. But this was just a bit too far. It paints the story of our young protagonist who's name I actually forgot or maybe we never even got to find out her name. Maybe my brain is immediately trying to block out the trauma. It started out fine; you find out that she is very obsessed with love and boy-crazy. A lot of young women are, nothing too crazy. We find out that she has history with self harm, starvation, not feeling good enough unless she is being desired by men, loved by men, fucked by men. She gets into a relationship with a man named Ciaran. Older than her by a couple of years, writes reviews or whatever. It doesn't take long until we see what a piece of asshole he is. He doesn't really like her (even though he does say I love you after a while, lmao) and they break up quickly after an all consuming relationship/affair/idek anymore. They get back together eventually. From the start she is obsessed with him. She loves him and from the start already know this: nothing and nobody, not even him, could stop her from loving him. No matter what. Well, buckle in, cause it sure is true. He is abusive. He doesn't love her, lets her beg for his love, attention, affection. He is still madly in love with his ex girlfriend of 7(?) years and regularily exchanges emails with this woman. Our protagonist knows this, feeds off this knowledge and the pain she inflicts herself by reading those emails, stalking the woman on the internet daily. She also drinks. A lot. A bottle of wine a day. Drinks to spite Ciaran who hates drunk people, drinking in general, oh, and his girlfriend btw! This rollercoaster just keep going on for the rest of the book: He is cold to her, she fixates absolutely on him, cooks for him, cleans for him, lets him fuck her (whenever they would fight, having sex would mean everything was ok again, isn't that lovely?<3), goes to work just to look for recipes she could cook him that evening. Her whole world revolves around him. Her friends hate him so she doesn't hang out with them anymore because she doesn't want to justify herself for being with him. He is emotionally abusive, shames her for her weight, her drinking (which gets worse and worse and worse) and her health. He even r*pes her once. This story turns around when she decides to change something. To finally do something. Wanna know what that is? She leaves him, gets a therapist and moves to Athens to become happier. HA. NO!!!!!!!!! She begins to cheat. I mean, okay, how much of cheating can it really be with such a cunt of a boyfriend? Still, she was "doing something. [She] was finally doing something". After a while, it just seemed to be porn about the vile suffering of this woman who lets nasty men fuck her, who gets r*ped and beaten by Ciaran, who talks bad about herself, self harms, drinks daily. I was just like, holy fuck. What exactly happened to her for all this to happen? This book made me angry, angry with the main character mostly. Maybe I'm just too insensitive but I cannot wrap my brain around how you can self harm yourself not only physically like this but especially emotionally. It also felt very personal, so I hope Megan Nolan, you're okay. All in all, I suppose I was hoping for this book to be something it clearly wasn't. If you're into this kind of perverse suffering, please read it. Oh, and the writing was pretty good. But the typical Sally Rooney style.

3

this book is devastating and beautiful. i have never been so frustrated and confused while reading before. a rollercoaster of events. there were moments where i hated the mc and could not relate to her at all but then there were moments where i felt sorry for her and found her totally relatable.

2

this might need a rr

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